I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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