I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
