Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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