Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
soo... how was my night?
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