i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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