they need to just BURY HIM!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
