you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize