So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
