You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
