i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
