I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I enjoy the company of your penis
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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