i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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