I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
