So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
