Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
