its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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