marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
