Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
