i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
