...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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