How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
