Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
