Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
