your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
smell my finger.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
