I cockslap morals
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
