i permit you to call me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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