You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
