I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize