whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
