Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
