5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
did i walk over a car last night?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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