His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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