I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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