I am spending my child support on dildos
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
