what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
