tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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