He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
