I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
