just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
