And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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