so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
