He disabled his match.com account in front of me
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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