just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
