Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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