wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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