I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
