Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
