How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
