he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think my moral compass just broke
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
