Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
