My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
