I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
