bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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