Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
