I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
