So drunk its hurt
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
